A
clown wrote the original music and lyrics to (you guessed
it) "Macarena."
They
are different than the rest of us.
They
rhyme with frowns.
They
have big feet.
See:
The Seinfeld episode where George meets "Eddie" the clown.
They
have a phobia named after them. (coulrophobia, more commonly
known as clownophobia)
Jack
Handy "Deep Thought": To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact,
they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and
I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and
a clown killed my dad.
Read
the Stephen King book, "It".
You
know what they say, "Once a clown, always a clown."
A
clown ate the dog that ate my homework. (And my professor
wouldn't believe me!)
See:
The Bill Murray movie, "Quick Change."
They
don't follow vehicle safety rules (20 in a car can't be legal).
A
clown wouldn't make a good superhero. Ex: "Never fear, Clown-Man
is here!" (See, it's an oxymoronic phrase...not that I'm scared
of clowns, mind you.)
See:
Any episode of the Simpson's featuring Krusty the Clown. (One
word: seedy)
Clowns
stink.
See:
Any episode of In Living Color featuring Homey D. Clown. (One
word: militant)
Clowns
have to smile all the time. Repressing all their non-happy
feelings can't be good for them.
I
have never seen a clown help an old lady across the street.
Another
Jack Handy "Deep Thought": You know what would make a good
story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but
inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
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Star
Trek
Captain
Kirk had to hate clowns.
Clowns
made the tribbles.
Clowns
shaved Captain Picard's head.
The
BORG is really a futuristic group of extra evil clowns. (I
believe it's the Bozo ORGanization.)
Star
Wars
Darth
Vader's mangled face is really another mask. Under that he
is really a clown (that's the real secret.)
Boba
Fett's first bounty was to capture a clown pirate.
X-Files
The
"Cigaratte Smoking Man" works part time as a clown. (That's
right--a clown killed JFK and MLK!)
Sculley
was really abducted by a group of rogue clowns, trained as
helicopter pilots.
Pulp
Fiction
A
clown was the one who scratched Vincent Vega's car after he
got it out of storage.
The
briefcase: Yes, it was Marsellus Wallace's clown suit inside.
(He had to keep that out of the wrong hands. Would you want
everyone to know you were a clown?)
All anti-clown images
property of The No Clown Zone. Seinfeld, Animaniacs, The Simpsons,
Star Trek, Star Wars, X-Files, Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, and
all other name brands are trademarks, no infringement intended.
Just havin' a little fun folks.®tm
These are only
theories...And I am not scared of clowns. Really.
copyright 1997-2000