BONUS Reasons: Star Trek | Star Wars | X-Files | Pulp Fiction | Usual Suspects
- A clown wrote the original music and lyrics to (you guessed it) “Macarena.”
- They are different than the rest of us.
- They rhyme with frowns.
- They have big feet.
- See: The Seinfeld episode where George meets “Eddie” the clown.
- They have a phobia named after them. (coulrophobia, more commonly known as clownophobia)
- Jack Handy “Deep Thought”: To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
- Read the Stephen King book, “It”.
- You know what they say, “Once a clown, always a clown.”
- I sang a sad song about them.
- See: The Animaniacs episode where Wakko meets the Jerry Lewis-like clown.
- A clown stole my dad’s job.
- I bet Paul Newman never played a clown character. (You gotta like Paul Newman)
- A clown ate the dog that ate my homework. (And my professor wouldn’t believe me!)
- See: The Bill Murray movie, “Quick Change.”
- They don’t follow vehicle safety rules (20 in a car can’t be legal).
- A clown wouldn’t make a good superhero. Ex: “Never fear, Clown-Man is here!” (See, it’s an oxymoronic phrase…not that I’m scared of clowns, mind you.)
- See: Any episode of the Simpson’s featuring Krusty the Clown. (One word: seedy)
- Clowns stink.
- See: Any episode of In Living Color featuring Homey D. Clown. (One word: militant)
- Clowns have to smile all the time. Repressing all their non-happy feelings can’t be good for them.
- I have never seen a clown help an old lady across the street.
- Another Jack Handy “Deep Thought”: You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
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- Captain Kirk had to hate clowns.
- Clowns made the tribbles.
- Clowns shaved Captain Picard’s head.
The BORG is really a futuristic group of extra evil clowns. (I believe it’s the Bozo ORGanization.)
Darth Vader’s mangled face is really another mask. Under that he is really a clown (that’s the real secret.)
Boba Fett’s first bounty was to capture a clown pirate.
The “Cigaratte Smoking Man” works part time as a clown. (That’s right–a clown killed JFK and MLK!)
Sculley was really abducted by a group of rogue clowns, trained as helicopter pilots.
A clown was the one who scratched Vincent Vega’s car after he got it out of storage.
The briefcase: Yes, it was Marsellus Wallace’s clown suit inside. (He had to keep that out of the wrong hands. Would you want everyone to know you were a clown?)
Keyser Soze = the devil = a clown.